Guinevere

Saying “I love you” is complicated

Because I also stand in awe of you,

Your wisdom, your intelligence,

Your lofty ideals,

Your singleness of purpose,

Your nobility.

I could sit at your feet for hours

Listening to your eagerness, your drive

In your quest for your Holy Grail.

I wish I could link our destinies forever,

Take my place at your side

And make your quest mine too.

You envision my doing so,

But I fear I’m Guinevere.

I’ll ruin everything you stand for,

Everything you are.

I love another in different way.

He’d be my Lancelot

He’d be my downfall

If we gave in to each other.

His nobility’s beyond question, too,

Part of what draws me to him.

But all notions of chivalry aside,

This may be stronger than both of us.

You may be a hero;

You may raise the world from a new Dark Age.

You may fall victim to a Morgan

Who will deceive you with black magic

And lay your Camelot to waste

And no Merlin could prevent it.

I won’t be part of that evil,

As much guilt as I bear.

Yet, in spite of myself,

Am I doomed to be part of a disaster

And spend the rest of my days in penance?